Abner

From the confines of the living room, I see hundreds, maybe thousands of towering trees. A morning fog floats gently on a back lawn that desperately needs mowing. Gazing up slightly from my well-worn rocking chair, I strain to see a beautiful blue sky coming into view. I wonder to myself, asking that age-old question; “Could this be the day?” “Will He come from way up there perhaps?”

Hold your horses pardners. Don’t sell the farm just yet.

Friends, neighbors, fellow citizens across this bountiful yet three-dimensional plain of ours; I hate to be the one to bring it to you, but Jesus of antiquity is not coming back. While I’m definitely not the instigator of such conclusion, this notion does represent the watershed issue among a variety of schools of thought. Obviously Jews don’t cotton much to his return, nor do Muslims count a second visit to be among their predictions; then again given the current international socio-political what-ja-ma-call-it climate, who cares what they believe- right.

I guess my appeal is to all those other folks, the ones who, on the surface, I seem to share such a common life experience; yet in the heart and mind suffer such a vast distinction- the Biblical literalists among us. Recent surveys suggest that 75% of today’s Protestant population, or about 80 million people, believe that Jesus is going to come back to earth and in their lifetimes no less. Ain’t that nice. No doubt the good ole USA would be among the stopping places for that heavenly tour don’t ya know? Blame it on my Missouri “Show Me State” roots (mom was born there), or my contrarian “go against the crowd” investment style (though I still can’t make any money), that just ain’t going to happen.

The funny thing about this life of ours is that, well except for going to grade school and paying taxes, nobody really makes you do much. I’m just turned 46, but I don’t recall anybody ever coming by the house and saying “ And by the way, be sure and sign up for that spiritual journey.” Over time though I have thought so much about it (the truth of the matter is that it’s my most favorite topic), and I suppose I have developed or maintained some measure of spirituality in these earthly days. But when I think about just where my life experiences, and readings, and influences, and deductions, and discussions, and observations, and church services, and singings, and all that other stuff that I presume makes up a spiritual journey, I am almost floored by the difference in where I am and where everybody else seems to be.

I can say that I do try to be honest about it, and generally try to assume a broader rather a more parochial perspective; trying to single faith down to just one specific denomination would be too much a crapshoot wouldn’t it. I‘ve read the King James Version a time or two. When I was young I used to go to church a lot with my girlfriends; so one week I might be a Methodist, the next week I was a Church of Christ. Heck I was even a Baptist a time or two. And there weren’t many Christmas Midnight Masses I missed at the big Catholic Church after I got my driver’s license when I still lived at home. The constant getting up and kneeling down was hard on the knees, but that incense sure smelled good. I was stuck in one of those low-points in my life once, feeling guilty and got baptized and joined a church- a truly wonderful bunch of folks by the way. I didn’t eat meat or shellfish or drink beer for almost six weeks and even mowed the church’s lawn the entire summer.

But I guess, like my brother said about his first marriage, it just didn’t stick. It seems my journey has brought me to a place where I have a whole lot more questions than I do answers. Like in the New Testament, did Jesus really say all that in the red letters? And if he did say it, given the obvious limitations to data storage two thousand years ago, how could anybody have noted, translated, and rewritten such massive content with any degree of accuracy? I just read a most interesting book put out by the Jesus Seminar (don’t panic, they are actually a body of Christian divinity, theology, and clergy people), and they suggest that 87 % of the words attributed to Jesus in the New Testament probably weren’t said by him at all. Rather, most of the speeches, dialogues etc attributed to Jesus were the creative invention of the guys who wrote the various Gospels. Now that makes sense. I do know a little bit about the written word, why I even studied English in college; believe me- there is a lot of power in the pen!

And if you study it closely, and you’re honest about it, you have to admit that there is a lot of contradiction among those birth and passion stories, and elsewhere, found in the Bible. Was it just one fellow in the tomb, or was it two guys? Or were they really angels sitting there all along when Mary(s) showed up? Did Joseph really stick his young son and wife on donkeys and haul all the way to Egypt, or did they just go up the road to Jerusalem right after birth? The tales seems to get taller with each passing story.

And as far as Jesus coming back, why didn’t he just stay to begin with? Knock on wood, I’ve never had to live in my car, but I can imagine the frustration, the anxiety, and the hopelessness that such a marginalized (Dominic Crossan likes this word a lot. He wrote The Birth of Christianity.) bunch of poverty stricken peasants must have felt when this dynamic, inspiring, hope-ful personality was taken from them. And the best I can figure is that for most of those twelve followers, the best they could figure, and they were with him the most, was that Jesus was going to set up some kind of kingdom to handle those darned Romans. Heck, they were even hoping to get jobs in the administration. That’s certainly one notion that hasn’t died through the years.

I wonder a lot too, just how long does somebody have to be dead, before you finally let ‘em go? Granted there’s been a lot of hopeful talk in the aisles at the Wal-Mart about maybe Elvis coming back lately, though I doubt that too. Similarly, I know there’s a lot of folks who claim to have these near death experiences (a topic for another day perhaps); “yep I was dead for eight minutes and saw these bright lights.” I say ho-hum; bring me somebody who’s been “pushin’ up daisies” for eight days, and then maybe we’ll have something to talk about.

I realize too that our current class of televangelists aren’t the first bunch to preach the “Coming Soon”. Did you know that there have been 186 documented predictions for Christ Coming Back these past 1972 years? No offense, but the Jehovah’s Witnesses have the worst track record- batting 0 for 7. As loud and as hollering as San Antonio’s rotund John Hagee might get, or as sweaty and dramatic as Rod Parsley may get (that guy sure was made for stage work though), or as cornball as ‘Coffee Cups’ Kenneth Copeland might be; ladies and gentleman be strong, be true to yourself; life goes on. How it’s been is probably how it’s going to be. I figure this ole world will be here a long time to come, that there will be a lot more beautiful blue sky days just like today, and as long as somebody somewhere doesn’t do something too wacky, man will be here too.

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Kirk Abner are encouraged
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