Allan Baker

     After a night's sleep, and an ice pack, I thought about my 'dance
partner' at Ricky's last night - then decided I would take this death wish a step further, by actually going to Game 5!! (It's not bad enough that I get pummeled in the bar, now I'm going to the stadium - so I can be right in the middle of 50,000 screaming, hostile A's fans!!)
     I didn't have a ticket, so I struck up a very shrewd deal with an enterprising young lad outside the stadium, who sold me a ticket - in exchange for 'the rights' to my first male child. Again, my seat was 'a ways up', but I had my piton, and my 'hose' were good for at least another game.
     I was surrounded by a fearsome-looking group of slugs, who seemed to sense that I wasn't an Oakland fan. I may have let it slip early on, when after Mickey Hatcher's first inning home run, I yelled "Go Dodgers, Oakland sucks pond water"!! My esteemed bleacher mates seemed to resent this for some reason, and by the 5th inning, I'd been pelted by a most interesting, and rather eclectic assortment of food and memorabilia - several large cups of beer, bratwurst sandwiches- some with buns, some without; a shoe; a plastic bottle of Jolt Cola; three pitons; a seat cushion; and an extension cord.

In the 8th, shortly after Jose Canseco popped up, and Dave Parker struck out - ending Oakland's last chance at victory - I became an
'expendable commodity'. I didn't have enough raw meat to go around, so I pointed to Haley's Comet, slithered my way down the aisle, and bid a fond farewell to this fine collection of 'future Nobel Prize winners'.
I listened to the end of the game - in my car, driving south!! At
least, I think it was south....I didn't need to be 'inside Thunderdome', any
longer than necessary! So - to recap: the Dodgers 'won it all' last night, in a huge upset! My hat goes off - or, my hats GO off, whichever you prefer, to this Dodger team, that I liken very much to the Miracle Mets of 1969 --
"Improbable, and truly, Amazin'!!"