A Good Cry

By Jennifer Davies

My 17-year old daughter was upset that her friend from our old hometown cancelled plans to visit for the weekend.   She expressed her feelings through quite a few tears and needed a hug.  Twenty minutes later, she was cheerfully listening to music on the computer and singing along, leaving my husband of one year completely bewildered.  “Why did she cry like that?  Her friend can come down another weekend.  What’s the big deal?”  We both glanced toward her as she used a pencil as a drumstick, happily tapping away to the music we couldn’t hear.   “And look at her now.  What is up with that?”, he asks.   I matter-of-factly reply, “Probably because she hadn’t had a good cry in awhile.”  His look of confusion caused me to further explain.  “Women do that.  We need to cry every once in awhile to feel better.”  I glance at her endearingly.  “She’s a woman now.”  My husband shook his head and started flipping channels, seemingly knowing that any further explanation on my part would only serve to fuel his confusion.
        From polling women friends, most seem to need to experience this stress-relieving phenomenon anywhere between three and twelve times a year.  It happens when we don’t expect it.  It comes upon us when we’re feeling overwhelmed with life in general.  And it can last anywhere between ten minutes to two hours.  I’ve also noticed that those who cry more often cry for a shorter period of time.  Seems that delaying ‘The Cry” will only cause it to last longer.  Regardless of how long or how often, “The Cry” plays out the same way for most.  After the first half of “The Cry”, we take a trip to the bathroom to gather Kleenex.  We bravely settle down enough to wash our faces until we catch sight of our red, swollen eyes and sad faces in the mirror.  Silently, we say to ourselves,  “You look so pathetic – you poor thing.  You deserve to cry”, and the second half of “The Cry” is manifested. “The Cry” is finally reduced to a few sniffles, a few wipes of tissue, a final washing of the face and we’re done!  We are now feeling far better, much stronger and ready to conquer anything that comes crosses our proverbial path.  We go about our tasks merrily humming Mr. Roger’s rendition of “It’s A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood.”  I’m certain a woman wrote that song after a good cry.  Mr. Rogers really had no business singing it.

Men don’t do “The Cry”.  I suppose, unfortunately, they’re just not properly equipped, emotionally-speaking.  Ever popped in on a male friend who greeted you at the door with red, swollen eyes saying, “Oh, I just needed a good cry”?  Not likely.  And they wonder why women live longer.

Perhaps that is why we women love those tearjerker chick-flicks.  What a great excuse to cry!  To relieve stress and tension!  To let it go!  Of course, we can’t completely let go in the theatre.  Perhaps, theatres should have separate soundproof seating areas for women, equipped with Kleenex, trash cans, sinks and mirrors.   We could safely wail away in the comfort of the dark and recover just before the theatre lights come back on.

Come to think of it, I’m overdue for a good cry.  It’s been quite a few months now.  Hmmm.  Well, my husband hasn’t sent me flowers in a long time, my editors aren’t returning my emails and my mail is late!   That ought to do it.