Forty and Fabulous

By: Kimberly Salter

        I woke up this morning and simply felt fabulous and needed to share this feeling. I'm 40 and I feel fabulous today! The old wives tale "It's all down hill after 40" is for the birds! Yes, I bought into it for a while! But yesterday I realized with the help of a very special friend, that age is simply a state of mind! Yes, as we age, things tend to slow a bit. But, what we do with our energy and how we feel about the day, is truly a "State of Mind". When we examine the human psyche, (no I'm not going there) we see there are stages we go through. Infants need input, to grow and discover the world. Teenagers need nothing; they know it already (so they think). When you are in your 20's you are trying to prove yourself to every one. In your 30's you are getting comfortable in your skin. Then the birth of the 40's! Oh, glorious days! You pretty much have discovered the world around you and, have figured out how to maneuver through life. You realize your teen years were spent with arrogance and indecisiveness. Your 20's were wasted on selfishness. And your 30's well, they let you realize every one is not looking at you! Now you are glorious and 40! Free to choose the path of your next decade with, maturity (hopefully) and a wealth of experience. Your 40's are a set point for freedom! You are not trying to prove anything to any one! You have become who you are and now's the time to "CHOOSE" to enjoy that! Maybe we get to experience a little of the arrogance of our teen years because after all, we do know it all (or so we think), and we are at a place in our life where we don't feel we have to prove ourselves anymore. And yes, we are feeling very fine in our skin. But there is this annoying reminder of people who have not been here; they feel life is over at 40. I am here to tell you, it's my experience that life BEGINS not ENDS at 40!

        Women do everything they can to stay looking young. They give it every effort to not look their age. Because, after all, as every one under 40 feels, "Your as old as dirt"! Well, you know how I feel about that! Enough said! I was blessed with pretty good genes and don't look 40. But what does 40 look like? When I see a woman or a man in a store or walking down the street, I never wondered how old they were. I observe how they carry themselves, which reflects how they feel about themselves. I noticed a woman in the store one day, she was tall, and average build, not thin but not really overweight. She looked healthy and very sweet. We laughed as we stood side by side in the greeting card isle. Her hair was well placed and she only wore a little make-up, just a clean fresh face. Yet you could see the laugh lines in the corner of her eyes. Soft spoken, and self-assured, this woman reflected a regal-ness and confidence that so many lack. I'm sure she must have been over 40 because of who she had become. As she walked away, I saw her laugh and share the card with her husband who was tall and average build with graying temples, what a lovely couple I thought as they walked to the counter. You could see how comfortable they were with each other, comfortable in their skin. This is what being 40 means to me. Not proving anything to anyone, just being who you are.

        For years I was overly sensitive. Taking myself too seriously, and afraid to speak my mind. Afraid people wouldn't like me. Or I might offend someone if I showed how I really felt. There is always a time to speak and a time not to. I'm not saying you should be cruel or mean but I held my tongue my whole life! I felt I had to be sweet at all times, never truly expressing what I thought or felt, because it might hurt someone's feelings! Teens speak out of turn and sound disrespectful, and rude. They set the example of what we should not do. Yet, they have something people lose or lack. They have a passion for life! They are excited about the next turn of events. And excited about their up coming so called independence! (Little do they know.) They say; "youth is wasted on the young", but I don't agree! Youth has its place. I don't think that I want the energy I had when I was young. When you are young, you have to have that kind of energy to explore the world! As you get older, you are allowed to slow down and appreciate things from a different point of view.

        I have ones in my family over 40 and they can out work me any day. But they always could. It's their state of mind. We can do anything we put our mind to. If you want to feel old and stuck, you will. If you want to feel "Wonderful" in spite of life's limitations, YOU CAN! IT'S YOUR STATE OF MIND! So CHOOSE today, not how old you are, but how you want to feel. I'm 40 and FABULOUS! Come join me!