Manners are Missing These Days

By: Robert Stedman

    When you're sitting at a table and food begins flying in your direction--you quickly develop an appreciation for manners. My mom, Jackie, and her dear friend, Carolyn, started a Charm School some 20 years ago. When taking this class, young girls learn how to demonstrate excellent table etiquette. If only some of my past dates had signed up (if you're a gal I've taken out--please, go ahead and assume I'm not talking about you)!

    A while back, I was sitting at a fancy dinner and must have had 50 eating devices before me. What made it worse was that the people to my left and right were waiting for me to make the call on what to use. Unable to accomplish my task, we all debated over which utensil served which purpose. It's these moments when I wish these ladies had Charm School for guys. Y'all can thank me for ruining that because after raising me (or rearing, whatever)--my mom was like "NO WAY!" Carolyn agreed without hesitation. I guess I'll just have to continue breaking into a cold sweat when I attempt to figure out which one of my 10 forks does what.     I must admit, I've got the basics down. Such as, don't show everyone what's in your mouth and keep sounds to a minimum. Napkin goes in your lap as soon as you're seated. Try and limit the amount of food that hits the person you're conversing with. The short fork goes with the salad and the long one is for the entree. Try not to knock the person on the right out of their chair with your elbow. Keep that left hand in your lap and never use a toothpick--NEVER! Jackie's table rules were always respected. These had to be learned and practiced growing up in the Stedman house! If not, your plate would be resting next to the dog bowl where shabby manners were expected.

    I get the biggest kick from thinking of previous Charm Schools. These two ladies would entertain their students with skits as Rhonda Rude and Polly Polite. When they ran out of material, they once hollered for me. Yes, ladies and gentleman, I sang Teddy Bear, shifting my hips around doing a very disturbing Elvis impersonation. That taught me never to hang around the house with a bored look on my face. Humiliation can force quick learning!

    Carolyn and Jackie deserve some serious Kudos for their work in the manner department. I was always amazed at how these two ladies could teach and tolerate 40, feisty, little girls. That ain't easy! To this day, I still laugh when people come up to me and say, "I went to your mom's Charm School." I kinda feel like the son of a celebrity.

    If you've got little ones and you'd like to polish up their etiquette, I suggest you start now. That little Tasmanian Devil will appreciate it when the dating world comes calling.

    I think it's appropriate to close with the Charm School motto:  "Beauty on the inside and out, that's what charm is all about. If I do my best, God will do the rest." Are these two women priceless or what?